you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
