Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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