Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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