But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
