Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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