So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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