new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
