Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
