she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
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I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
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I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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