Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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