This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
