I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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