it wasn't lemon gatorade
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
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Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
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my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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