I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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