somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
