i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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