I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
