Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
