And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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