can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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