can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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