I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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