I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
