just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Even my vagina gasped.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
