I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
