can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
