sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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