i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
