you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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