I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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