how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
