i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
