that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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