Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
