I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
whose parrot is this?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
