Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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