And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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