I'm drive I can fine osifer
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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