fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
