I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
