Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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