We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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