His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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