Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
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I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
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Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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