how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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