I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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