like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
