She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
