Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I have tasted many bathrooms
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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