i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
