My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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