She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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