the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
