I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
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just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
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Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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