Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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