Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
