Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
