bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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