Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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