the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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